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In kerala the parents select prospective partners for their sons
and daughter. After extensive background checks, including financial
and social status. The parents will check the horoscopes for compatibility.
If all the necessary compatibility is there the bride and groom
will meet each other. This function will normally take place at
the bride’s home. If both the bride and groom are willing
to get married the parents agree on a date for the engagement. “Vakukodupu”
One the day of the engagement the family and friends of both the
girl and boy will go to the girl's house. The boy’s father
asks the girls father for consent for his son to marry his daughter.
In Kerala once this is agreed the “jathakams" (horoscopes)
are exchanged between the father of the boy and that of the girl.
This will be performed in front of the picture of their favorite
god or goddess. Betel leaves, Betel nut, fruits, Incense sticks,
Nilavilakku (traditional kerala lamp made of brass) and bhasmam
(vermilion) will also be placed besides the picture of the deity.
Then the girl and boy, will exchange rings in presence of the gathering.
In Kerala Usually the engagement is the day that the date of the
wedding is announced. If there is no engagement function two to
three male members of the groom’s family will go to the brides
house and gives the astrology slip mentioning the day, date and
the exact time (muhurtam) to conduct the wedding. In Kerala mally
Tuesdays and Fridays are usually avoided for this visit.
The day before the wedding the relatives of the boy come to the
girls house to give her wedding dress. The boy’s sister will
give her 'pudava'- the traditional wedding sari in a silver or steel
tray. In Kerala on the wedding day, the girl proceeds to visit the
temple of her favorite deity. There an offering "vazhipadu"
is made in the name, and star, of the groom. It is called 'astothara
archana'. At an auspicious time, the relatives of the bride will
receive the groom and his relatives. The brother of the girl (or
the person having that position) will sprinkle rose water on him
and apply sandal paste on the forehead of the boy. The groom will
also be given a garland, bouquet and lime. The boy will then be
lead to the 'mandapam' - an elevated place usually decorated by
flowers. In Kerala the bride is led to the mandapam, just before
the muhurtam, in company of 5 to 11 girls in a procession of 'thalapoli'-
a custom of leading the important person to the stage by girls holding
a small circular vessel, made of brass or steel, with a coconut
lamp and flowers. The father (or other elders if he is dead) will
lead her to the mandapam and seats her on the left side of the groom.
In Kerala at the muhurtam time the groom with the help of his sister
(or some one who occupies that position) will tie the sacred thread
(this is usually a gold chain, but some people prefer an yellow
thread), While the ‘nadaswarem’ (a mixed band of kerala
musical instruments) is playing. At this moment the gathering of
friends and relatives will shower floral petals on the newly wedded
couple. Then both of them will exchange garland. Then both of them
will circle the mandapam, thrice. A pujari will also be present
to help them go through the ritual without hitch. He will be offered
some 'dakshina'- a practice of giving some token money for the guidance.
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